When parents have unresolved disputes.

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Sometimes in the past, a pastor friend of mine,
(name withheld), invited me to counsel a family as he
wanted a neutral pastor to consider the matter. What
baffled me when we get there was not the
misunderstanding between the couple, but the way they
were practically involving their children by asking them
for witnesses. Please parents, handle your conflicts wisely
and graciously. Especially when your union of love has
produced seeds. Regardless of who is wrong or right,
please be discreet and handle you finances with due
regards first for your spouse above everything else.

Remember, there is nothing wrong with being rich
as couples, if you don’t compete with each other. Or hoard
for yourself that which God has given you. Bearing that in
mind, wealth can be a blessing and a curse in a man’s life,
depending where you place your priorities. You can
understand and appreciate the blessings of wealth, but
often forget that more money equals more problems. This
makes you more accountable to God, in as much as I don’t
condemn being rich. Nevertheless, it’s of immense
importance for couples to understand that one of the
many-sided reasons of wealth, is that money can divide
families in your very own face, if you’re not careful.

Whether you realize it or not, people are seeing
what’s going on in your life. Unbelievers are watching
you. They’re looking at how you treat your spouse and
kids, how you compose and organise yourself at work,
during road traffic and when you’re under stress.
When you think no one is watching, someone is
definitely watching. A couple who is supposed to share the same
purpose and dreams, fight like cats and dogs. One always
wants it done this way, and the other want it done that
way. The woman will complain how she is treated like a
glorified house maid. The man will complain how all the
responsibilities are resting on his shoulders. Back and
forth they rattle, and the children will be watching them
as they wash their dirty linen outside.

Hellooo! Yes! You may laugh at it, even as you are reading
this book. Nonetheless, it’s not a laughing matter but a
serious weapon of the enemy to adrift your children.
When parents have disputes, God is not happy.
Because, when you exhibit unity in the family circle, the
children are bound to be attracted to love. But when you don’t show unity of purpose and
sheared responsibilities in the family unit, the children
not only rebel, but try to manipulate the parents against
each other, while watching them in mockery. In a family
where there are constant fights, their heaven is always
closed. They can hear nothing from heaven. The spirit of
God is far from that family. Therefore, you should learn
how to appropriately handle conflicts within the privacy
of your bedroom.

The man should take the initiative to resolve the
conflict with his wife. Be willing to surrender your
personal rights and sacrifice your interest for the sake of
peace and your children (Phil 2:1-11). Likewise, it is your
responsibility as parents to create a peaceful
environment for your children. The lazy, unbelieving way
is to let the conflict drift and become steadily worse.
Don’t be quick to mention divorce. unless you are
ready to take responsibility for your actions. Even divorce
cannot help you.  keep quiet about divorce. It’s
not the vocabulary of the saints. “For I hate divorce,” says
the Lord, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to
overwhelm her with cruelty,” “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your
wife” (Malachi 2:16). Have you forgotten that the life of
faith involves learning to live with one another in peace,
That’s why the bible says that you must be
“diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of
peace” within the family unit (Ephesians 4:3).jhmb

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